I miss you so dearly.
My mama says she feels empathy for you
As though you are her
And me my father
But I saw the licks of
Hell as your face
Turned a deep red
I tried to speak out
The words invisible to your ears
Mine aching from the chaos
You inflicted because you felt
You deserved it

I think of the beginning
And how elated you were
To have me by your side
I had a very you and me
Kind of dinner tonight
And yesterday
Beets at the center
Except now it's just me.

The seat across from me--once again
Empty.
But we all know you couldn't have been here anyway
And I guess that gives me some hand held peace
You want
You are drained.
I drink champagne
And chalk up our fate
Knowing this chair stays empty
For now
And has revolved like the swivel of my front door
Throughout my 26 years
When will one at last stick?
But I deeply know when.
And for once--
I find and relish
It's emptiness

For now
And that makes me
Slightly smile.