and i could never understand
why i loved you more,
or why i loved you at all,
because you left bruises on my heart
and bruises on my skin and i forgot
the taste of your lips because i was
drowning in my tears
and love is supposed to be drowning in a
good way, not drowning in a
“oh my god there’s so much
blood” kind of way.

and i have yet to understand why
you loved her more
or why you loved her at all
because saying her name burned your throat
worse than alcohol did and she left you
with a smile on her face and
her knife in your chest but you
still crawled after her.

   -*but maybe it’s human nature to want what makes our insides turn