It was 12:02am.
Saturday morning.
I was hungry.
So hungry.
Now that I think of it,
I was beyond hungry.
I was starving.
I was so hungry,
I could eat a horse.
And then it hit me.
I'll eat a horse.
And so I got into my car,
and drove to the nearest farm.
On the way there,
I hit a rabbit.
It was a gruesome scene.
I contemplated stopping and eating the rabbit,
but I knew in the end,
that was a bad idea.
I mean, it wouldn't even fill my appetite.
I needed something that would,
like a horse.
So I arrived at the farm,
and snuck into the horses stables.
I was sneakier than Bill Clinton,
that is,
until he got caught of course.
But I never got caught!
I got into one of the stalls,
and injected the horse with a lethal dose of cyanide.
I always carried cyanide around with me,
I knew there would be a right time and a right place to use it.
And that time was now.
I proceeded to pick the horse up with my super human strength,
and brought it to the car.
I tied it to the roof of the car,
and drove it home.
It was a glorious night.
I fired up the grill,
poured some apple juice,
because I didn't drink,
drinking is bad,
and had horse meat all night long.
It tasted like chicken,
just without the chicken.
I was a happy man,
and I went to bed with a full stomach.
The next morning,
I woke to a startling surprise.
I was in a stable,
and I was surrounded by horses.
All around me,
horses.
"We know what you did last night" one of the horses said,
as it stood up,
and cracked its hooves.
All the other horses did the same.
I closed my eyes,
and took a deep breath,
as I was trampled to death,
by the trusty steeds.