Today my therapist asked me about suicide.
My insides collapsed
I hunched over and didn’t allow myself to cry
I felt a weakness capture my entire body in a way that made me feel cold
The word suicide came out of my mouth weighing a ton and upon final release of the word… again my body shriveled and again I didn’t allow myself to cry
The word now rings in my head
Talks me to the ledge
And makes me think about what It is to live
This word which has once been silly
Now encompasses my entire body
Without treatment I may have never known suicide
That is,
Until it was too late