left out of dark to swirl with the sirens ice cold is unchanging and fully reviving the bottles have no shape or form they just continue to grow and grow all over the counter, all over the sink, all over the bedroom floor; my charcoal lungs are evaporating with alacrity so now green is the only color i have to stain things with still my anxiety is snaking its sour umbra over everything that is sunlight to me anything beautiful and breathing its erasing me my mouth is full of cat hair and ammonia from the dog **** and the white on the floor is cancer im convinced of it but we have no place to go and maybe its too late to change it i am slowly less aware of reality and dead, dead, dying in my dreams my baby left me, crystal blue lips and seams why would she walk onto the water she isn't jesus and i am the furthest thing i jumped onto the mirror and it shattered, the ice slit my throat i grabbed frantically to push her above the water but her paws were limp, she wasn't moving anymore then she started to glow ghost rising until the white clouds caressed her enveloping all watching her while i descended like Lucifer returning to his throne this spider is spinning on my shoulder im throwing him away out the window out of my bed out of my home out of my life his web is still attached to me and he is all that i see biting nervous itching, id rather be at sea i can show the world ugly if that is all they want to see this spider is crawling all over me im barely evident in my deprivation and unable to stop swallowing poison to give myself time to breathe i dont know this child but hes pushing a cart in the snow red eyes smiling, yellow wheels, green coat he needs help // tell him where to go i take him to his home and sit down at the table with his family everyone is talking and laughing fork in the ham smoke from the ash tray in o's shes drinking and smiling then she turns and looks to me and my uncles ghost comes straight out her vibrating throat and begins to eat her food while shes talking to me im just looking around like what the **** is happening the family is all smiling they dont notice him he doesn't notice me but i can feel everything so i go to the bathroom pull out my teeth one at a time and they are immediately regrowing my uncle is shaving next to me doesn't notice or say a thing walked back out onto the street laid on the pavement closed my eyes and fell asleep