I don't know what to say,
nor what words to use.
I was struck speechless by you.
Maybe it was embarrassment,
Maybe it was fear,
from those who haunt me.
Maybe it's just so new that I was caught off guard.
I really have no clue.
I felt numb,
cast between the gates of happiness,
and the cliffs of my own insecurities.
Caught in the firing of the bullets that question and caution.
"Don't become a monster"
"Be the perfect Model"
"Am I disappointing them further?"
"I don't even deserve love"
"How could someone feel like this for me?"
I want to cry to the heavens,
"I don't understand!"
And hope for a response ...
But do they still stand by me?
Have I been exiled,
Or do I sit in my father's kingdom?
I'm lost,
So very lost,
Wandering from home,
wishing for answers.
How could anyone love me?
Why am I confused over your desire?
Of two things I'm certain,
I love you
&
am confused