Seeing you with her makes my bones ache and a fever spread across my body because she makes you laugh but you laugh with your teeth and I should be happy because only a handful of times was I ever able to see your teeth through a giggle. You were scared and so was I but I let myself fall, completely vulnerable to my surroundings. As if the calcium was extracted from my bones and every inch of me was malleable. your body acted as rubber, allowing my love to bounce off of you but never stick. Every passing comment entered through your semipermeable skin as if you were waiting for something more fulfilling. I was never enough for you and that is what hurts the most, after all these months this is what hurts the most. I wish every night that I could go back to falling. I dream that I am falling and you are at the bottom, but this time you catch me and we fall together, building each other from the rubble that was left. I wish, I dream, I must. This keeps my head out of the cloud, it is the only thing that has made sense to me.