there's actually a laughing gas
epidemic in this little
corner of england...
    it might have died out, but...
there was a time when you
could have picked up these
enigmatic "******" bullet-sized
metal "containers"...
           they were lining the streets,
thrown out of cars,
or whatever...
            i had to ask this drunkard
schizosphernic what they were
when i presented the example to him...
all he said was:
            'laughing gas.'
        apparently there are places
in the world where syringes and ******
are the problem...
  where i'm from... the solution is apparently
laughing gas...
     i am the most loud-mouthed laughing
person around here, so i figured:
   am i really that inspirational?
      i'm still the only person found laughing
around here...
        but i could have told them that:
i once inhaled a balloon containing
   "laughing gas" in a club in edinburgh...
   for some reason i didn't exactly laugh...
                it was placebo...
fake, ******* gave me fake...
                               i was expecting the old
testimony of patients in dentistry...
  like that myth of tying a string around
the tooth that gave you aching pain
and then tying the other end of the string to
a door... and then opening the door
and the tooth being pulled out...
           ****... why not? hades? zeus?
the minotaur?! hercules?!
                o.k., we have achilles and we have
homer... and we also have hesiod, ovid and horace.
   but around here... it's not glasgow,
it's not ****** and syringes that's the problem...
it's these ****** rifle bullet sized canisters of
people inhaling laughing gas...
                 let's just say that history
of what was and isn't, but what really was can
be translated to literally applicable via
   metaphor...  -osis...
                             it was 2016 and these ******-rifle
sized "bullets" were really found on the streets...
like i "said", it's not glasgow...
             then again laughing gas in edinburgh
was placebo... and i too thought that the middle-class
******* from england would prescribe me
something efficient during a night-out;
                         evidently they didn't.
they diluted that **** like they diluted absinthe
to the point that you don't really hallucinate from
the wormwood that's missing in the 21st century
translation...
                            ****... who was it? ginsberg!
yeah, he was on laughing gas once... took it
for recreational purposes...
                        absinthe these days is just shrek *****...
double the strength and not much else...
             drank it a few times... ok... envy sambuca
given the liquid rice... liquorice / lee-co reesh.
                   it's true though, a year apart from
when i'm writing this "article", these streets
were peppered by these ******-rifle-bullet-imitation
canisters...
      and as my sources claimed... laughing gas
canisters...
                     imagine a laughing gas epidemic...
what the hell do you do with it?
            how do you begin treating laughter as
a disease?
             is it like sydenham's chorea?
       or is it some sort of symptom of engaging in
kuru? and then the jack sparrow comic entrance?
  it was, don't know if it is: but i certainly
know it was laughing gas that caused this uproar
in the english county of essex.