As depression sets in the tide becomes brutally honest
by churning the minutes into hours and hours into days,
Days into weeks,months & years.

I am submerged by my own filth
The grit and grime is put there
By unsaid life events over time.
With past passions lost along the way
Seems like I try to just survive each
Ever changing day, Clinging to
Lifelines to keep me afloat to
throw me a life changing boat.

My life is being wife with kids,
Being everything I can be all except for me!
I often wonder who and where she is ?
And who she'd be if she had been there the  
version of me who is healthy in every way
with goals achieved and nutritious habits.

My brain is mushy kind of sloshy rainy days use to be a bother!
Now almost prefer it over the sun since it is less pressure
to go out and be a false outgoing human.
when all I want is to stay in gloom in my darkened room with
depression at bay this is the reality it is here to stay day after day.