Mar 2017

I have seen many therapists in my life and they all asked me the same questions. How are you? What's wrong in your life? When was the last time you ate?
It took me a while to realize that I was lying. I'm good, nothings wrong I have a great life and that I had eaten this morning. But I lied I wasn't doing good, I was depressed, my life wasn't great, my life was falling apart. I don't know when the last time I had eaten something was all I know is that I can't stomach anything anymore
I knew I was damaged, I was broken so I decided to take it out on myself. I couldn't get close to anyone, I'm cursed everyone I get close to died and there was always a funeral
I told them that I didn't want to live, that I didn't want to be me anymore, and we argued we seem to be doing that a lot lately. I just wanted to be happy, to be fixed again, but instead I'm just fake
All these negative thoughts attack me, that I'm not pretty enough, smart enough and that everyone I know hates me and maybe that's all true. I mean I even hate myself so why should I expect others to feel different
Nothing is going right, nothing works anymore and maybe this is for the best. I mean everyone will eventually forget me. I will no longer exist. It'll be like I was never there

Written by
Kasia kipp
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