Good morning my dear how do you do
Even though we have not talked in a month or two
Please remember I’m still stalking you
Remember when you took at the trash last week
You know you were half dressed with no shoes on your feet
Flaccid flab flying in the wind while you raced back in
Leaving lots of goodies for me to find in your garbage bin
Like an early Christmas present or a late birthday gift
Made me so happy I could slit your girlfriend’s wrist
Dump the body in the ravine I don’t think she’d be missed
Anyway I dove into that lovely little treasure trove
To find something cool and found the freaking mother load
I got your toenail clippings, a couple locks of hair
A ****** band aid, there was plenty of DNA there
A soda can which once touch your lips
I quiver all over just thinking about it
And the best thing of all I found in that trash heap
A restraining order to prove you were thinking of me
So I wrote you this letter I will place it at your Window
You may never see me but I’ll be with you wherever you go
Signed
Your Stalker
P.S.  Leave your bedroom light on at night
Or else we are going to have a problem, alright