did you ever want to shake out the skies
to watch the stars fall, catch one and fix
it on a ring with kudzu
did you ever think that fear
is just a gate without locks,
driven into the yard with father's strong arms--
so I dream about the day the man
died on highway 50, the road up to salida
away from Kansas City
saying thank you to the cadence of mississippi *******
star-watching till the early cold 1 am

i've been a little too ******* my soul
a vice on a child that don't know where else to go
and she ain't even physical, just an analogy for heart
but I whisper that, we can't keep holdin' on that way,
like there's no where else to hold,
cause that bridge has fingerprints set in stone
the places where god tried to take me home
and i dug in between the bricks to go no further.

but there's no difference in where I am,
runnin' up the sides of mosaic canyons
settin' fire to the brush, with matchstick palms
walking the line to hell on white hot sand,
widowbird feathers streamin' in my hair
drilling post holes with heels that can't stay above ground
on the backslide with promises hanging off my lips
gold drillbit tassels swinging against my hips
and he's close there behind me
waiting for the right misstep
'cause god don't catch but is one for reachin'
and i'm tired of tellin' him i'm ****** about his mercy
the way things are, the way i am, the things I can't
change without his help
anymore, the loneliness at local bars
when i'm sittin' by myself up
in the stands watchin' bulls
as honest as the colorado weather
throwin weak men off their backs
looking for the real challenge
prolly the way he seeks me out
to wear me down till all i can
do is stop and look back
away from the gates
kick off the mud
stop buckin', tossin'
sleepin' on the watch.