Words are becoming hard
Phrases that used to flow like rivers from my fingertips
Must be drawn out by force, inch by painful inch
I am so afraid of my own writing, of its mediocrity
Why does this hurt? Why are my words hollow now?
I think of all of the stories in my head
And i want to cry, to scream
They’re blocked by this wall of something that might be fear
But it might be disgust too
Disgust in myself, disgust with the fact that I used to think in words
But now I think in snapshots and when did I change?
I want to stop growing, to regress to black and white
I want to see the blinker on the screen, the disappearing black line
And I want to be filled with determination, not frustration
What will it take for me to look past where I am to where I want to be?
What will it take for me to start walking, to get up and wipe the tears away
I want to be a writer again, oh please let me write again
Words, please, I am sorry for leaving you
It was my fault, my fears, my stubbornness
I only want to do what I’m good at
But I want so badly to become good at you.
Words, take me back?