It’s hard to explain how everything can be going so wrong, yet still shine brighter than the monotony that once was your life. How there seemed to be a smudge on the thing you once called the epitome of your existence , and it took a hurricane to make you realize it. So much damage. The high speed words circling above, gashing your skin, taking awake the numbness. Salty waves and rain leave stains on everything you’ve ever owned. The fake feeling of sturdiness and sanity falls with each surrounding tree. A storm like no other, caused by one misstep. Yet through the mess I see the smudge, it’s just annoying enough that I take a moment from the chaos to wipe it away. Who would have guessed that I would have shined a light on my life. I can see the pain. I can feel the pain. I can see the yelling and the screaming and objects flying through the air. I can feel how each word tears at my skin. I can see the scars that have been covered. I can put myself in the mindset I once had when I wanted to die.  Faces pass me by. They all have new meaning. I didn’t want this, but maybe I needed something so awful to bring me to my darkest place again. The one I’ve been pretending didn’t exist. I hate this. All of it. I can see the sun now, but it’s casting shadows on all of my damage, laid out for the world to see.