I could never do it.
I could never do it.

I say this over and over .Because I could not do it.I look forward to the future, dreaming the ease of dying, I can't stop this crying. Because i could not do it. Is it easier to leave or to stay. I cannot say. Because I could not do it. I thought I could be brave, brave enough to leave. I tried it once and I could not do it, didn't go through with it. So I stopped and started crying again. I say I am mostly sane because im not the only one.
But still I could not do it. I am not that strong or brave, but wish I could. I think about the people around me, flaunting their freedom as they should be,it is their right to be. But what does that say for me. I no longer run with the breeze, keeping my head down in between my knees. A cry for help, that whispers so quietly no one can see this insanity within me. I understand now that I can only look to the future and hope
From learning from others that feel me, it's all I can look forward to, the only thing I can hold on to. whilst the words that whispers in waves, I cannot be brave. I cannot be strong. I cannot resist. I cannot move on. Because I could never do it. Alone.