I don't understand
Why in the misted fleet
Of crickets whistling, humming
I'm petting the back of the white bird
As it crawls underneath my skin
A specimen to behold
Clad in red and black
I stretch my arms out wide
Fostering and seeking to nourish
What is here and what is not
Fighting tooth and nail
To constantly approach every interaction
With a 360 degree point of view
Why it seems to be so difficult for you
To see that I love your loyalty, your faith
But I need to be coddled and reassured at times
Because its just like
What feels like mere seconds ago
Where a hole was left next to my head
Or I was left alone in the middle of the night
Or told in the heat of my sequined dress
Crying all the way
"I ****** up."

I want to be an all around fantastical, amazing
Justice filled woman
I'm fighting to reach her
You hugged me in the most vulnerable of places
But yet I still seem to find myself
Lost in that rabbit hole
Of what I consider a triggering place
And with my detailed or large brush strokes
I try to paint all the ways
To make you see, I just need a little healing
A little extra lovin'
Even when your words
Come from grown experience
But I'm still your baby
I'm still fostering and nourishing
With you
Help me, help you.

Independence
Its a trait I know and hum into so well
Wanna make you happy
Wanna make me happy
Together or separate
I know you got that good coo coo
I know you got that strong lullaby
But help me, help you.

Don't wanna nag
Or slip into dreams
That remind me
Of my face cracked in half
I seldom share
The vivid dreams I have at night
With you
For fear of being misunderstood
Because they are rarely
Positive or good.

Can't you see I'm an immeasurable
Complicated and compassionate woman?
It makes my heart swell
When you do the little, big
Thoughtful acts
I know baby, you mean so well
Wanna give you all that freedom
So that we fly around
And back to one another
Always.

So help me, help you.