I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I keep on skipping classes.
My head was filled with strange thoughts that sometimes wants me to jump off the building.
I'm sorry I haven't ate enough for one day,
I was trying to survive for the whole week.
I'm sorry I told you people I'm doing fine...
But deep inside, I was planning the funeral I will never have.

I'm sorry I had bad habits I can't stop...
Maybe I just don't want to.
Sorry if I had secrets that I keep until now.
They are the only thing that keeps me going.
sorry if I had told you I'm fine...
I was trying to be.

I filled my emptiness with unnecessary feeling that won't help
but made me alive.
I was looking for hapiness.
I found it in a way that no one else understands.

To my parents:
I'm sorry I am such a shame to the family.
Never grew up like the princess you have treated me when I was young.
Instead, I grew up to be the witch, every one learned to hate.

To my boyfriend:
I'm sorry I ****.
I never cheated on you or even thought about it.
but I learned how to lie.
Lie about me.
I am happy with us,
but never with the person I became.

to my self:

I'm sorry I became like this.
This was out of the plan, right?
we talked about this before.
But I failed you.

Everything is messed up now.
I don't really know how to fix this and make every thing okay again.

And I am tired of trying.