The leaves keep changing colors despite my pleading, Before I looked within and noticed my chest beating. What a clever ruse that ***** had played to convince, It wasn’t in use when you left and hadn’t been since. But now it would seem I know better than my heart, About things that entice my mind and shock it to start, ‘Cause here I sit once again, a gleam in the dark night, Exploring the reasoning behind my body working right. It makes me wonder about the choices my brain makes, In all of the previous decisions that have led to mistakes, Who exactly is in control of my soul, heart, and brain, While I’m so focused on this trusty mask I always feign? But the answers only serve their purpose as excuses, Squeezing them pitilessly dry of their disgusting juices, To make myself feel better about what I’ve become, In spite of the upbringing I should have learned from. Yet, here I sit and sigh because colors are always turning, And mine has changed to one that has my heart burning.