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Feb 2017
<<In this narrative you didn't see me.>>

I saw you today.
Your arm.
Your backwards baseball cap.
Your sunglasses.
Your mouth.
Your truck.

I swear, my heart faltered.
In those 5 long seconds,
I hit a brick wall, and fell
through the universe of my being.
I drowned in a water
so crystal clear and malleable.

The shape of my memories,
real and imagined,
took form.
They played out an alternative reality
one where we both compliment each other
like the Yin and Yang
el sufrimiento y La Virgen
Barack and Michelle.

The story unraveled
and told a beautiful fairytale:
Our progressive life
beyond the comprehension of most
and desired by all;
we supported each other and cherished each other
grew with one another and rested together.
We were woke to the sufferings of all,
competent and confident in our roles to empower and uplift;
never vain, yet every mistake was accepted humbly.
We emitted light, for ourselves, for each other.
We laughed. Hugged. Existed.

I smiled.

As the mili-seconds creep into the 5th second,
I grab my own wrist,
yank myself through a wormhole,
and re-exist in the spot from where I can see you.
My heart begins to flutter.

Green light.

I race forward.
<<Here I am>>, ahead of you.
While I enjoy the smooth pace of my life, where are you?
Behind me?
Or did you turn?
<<How I wish my object permanence was broken.
I don't want to understand you, anymore.>>
Suddenly, you charge ahead, and leave me in the dust.
I miss the chance to signal to you.
I miss the chance to catch you.

<<One more chance.>>
I whisper, to the void.
We pass each other, <<Here it is.>>

Nothing.

As you go left, I stay straight
The perfect metaphor of our lives.

I'm ridden with emotions,
too many to sort through.
I give myself over to my guides,
and in that brief moment of clarity,
I see how unrequited this love is.

I change the dialogue.

<<My goals and my dreams require attention.
My passion and my heart require understanding.
My love and my time is special.>>

You exist. I exist.
Separated by periods, occasionally connected with commas.
You, and I.
No more, no less.
My heart flutters.

I am here, in this precious moment.
Intently, fall the grains of sand of time.
I am here, I am now.
My heart flutters.
Alee
Written by
Alee
268
   mickey finn
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