The anxiety has gotten worse.
I can feel it throughout my whole body
Like a virus
Like its trying to consume me,
im afraid it is
and im afraid i cant stop it.

They say "Find where your anxiety begins and squash it"
Id be squashing the one I love most.
Id be letting go of four years,
although these four years have been a roller coaster
one thats broken down and tried to be rebuilt
several times

They ask "why dont you just walk away, its cant be THAT hard"
but it is that hard and my anxiety makes the final call
You see,
my thoughts run through, come back, run though and get stuck
every day, every chance my mind will let them
Its all repetitive,
the thoughts
the feelings, the pain
words, his words
our false promises

Its been repetitive and i feel ive grown immune
to this virus
and i feel ive made a home in it

Dont get me wrong,
I love him
and i always will.
More then he'll ever know
but even then i thought it was enough for him not to cheat
whos to say he wont do it again
I now know what hes capable of

He knows how to rid of his tracks
He knows that i wont just look through his phone
He knows ill allow it all to swallow me,
have me cry about it later

There comes a time where it gets old,
where my insecurities keep asking who hes talking to
or whos hes seeing while im working

You see where my anxieties taken me?

Love makes me go ******* mad.

Good luck to all of you.