I used to come here and laugh along while people
turned, looked up to me, and asked me to play.
I would join, I would mess everything up, and
everyone laughed along until
I became closer to someone
who was special to
me.
I would come in again and I would
be scolded for putting down the wrong
card,
and I would be ignored by
everyone.
What happened?
Did you want me to stay independent?
Did you not want me at all?
Today I tried to go in and I stopped
myself when I was at a point where I couldn’t
be seen.
I’ll never be seen as someone strong with power
by any of you.
I quit for a reason,
and it is not normal to walk into a room
with a pounding chest and blood sweat and
tears.
I was told prior to my attempt I should come
in every once in a while.
Not happening.
Do you want me to stay or do you want me to go?
I never mattered anyway.