This time last year I had a panic attack because I thought you would die while I was away.
I was terrified that the cancer would finally be too much and I would be thousands of miles away,
Too far to say my goodbyes,
Too far to see you one last time,
Too far to take a mental picture of how truly awful this sickness is.
Now, this year, I lay in the bathtub;
High on Xanax because you're gone and life's moving on without you.
I'm leaving tomorrow morning just as I did last year,
But I don't have to worry about you dying this year,
Now I have to worry about you being forgotten.
Worry that your memory will wither away,
That I will soon forget your voice and toothy grin.
Because everything is moving too quickly.

After you took your final breath it felt like the world stopped,
But boy was I wrong.
Things went on just as they used to and it terrified me.
Because how on Earth could the world still spin without you on it?