This is crazy,
having to re-define
everything.

What will my mother
think?

My dad already
thinks I'm crazy,
and I don't even stay there.

Sometimes I have black coffee,
and that's it for a day.

When I walk to the ABC store
on bland nights,
I pack
a pack
of Marlboros,
and I leave breadcrumbs of butts.

At night
I suckle
the lick dry,
right down to the bottom
of the breast,
until there is nothing more
it can give me.

During the day,
I work out
haphazardly,
and **** in the toilets,
like a big boy.

I have to learn how to speak again.

I've got a whole new dictionary
and it's got the same word
on
every page.

Can I be human,
with one word?