You've been my daily
pen pal for months. My timely
dose of quasi love.
An artificial sweetener,
sugar with no substance.
Too sweet to be real.

Too afraid of real connection.
We chat on a dating app,
you live across the Irish Sea,
upper class in a different country;
miles from me. I feel a sense
of relief I'm not repulsive.

I'm not interested in marriage, kids
or love. Not willing to invest in
business based on luck.
I need control, won't gamble
away my life on you
but can't be alone. On my own,
on my own. On my own.