I'm a woman that questions God's existence. And I know that makes me sound Atheist, but when you've felt what I've felt at young there's nothing left in a child's mind but to question and doubt. Shrouded in dark you start to speak it's language. You start to learn the games it plays. I'm a woman that doubts strength and power outside my own. And I know that makes me sound conceited..but when you've brushed bottom, slammed down on it at times even, and manage to break surface yet again; you cannot say you'd credit any other power but your own. That you could undermind your own will to kick up and live again. All I've overcome was me, my refusal to bend knee. You will never find me thanking a questionable higher power, and not from dignity or pride or lack of manner. My ability and faith in myself should not be sold short. I'm a woman that question's God's existence, as I am today. But the day I'm face to face with my own child, I'll question how my own power alone created this and begin seeing Her outstretched hand.