Every night I have dreams
Of storms
Savage
And ravaging
Everything I love
Tornadoes carrying off my mother
Baby bobbing in the floodwaters
Dad
Under the logs of the house
Calling out to me
And I’m searching frantically
Eyes on the sky
All the time tasting the salt
Of the rain
The sting
Of the cuts in my lips
But there is no lightning
In the storms in my mind
Did I ever tell you I got struck by lightning
Seven times?
Once
On the couch at your parents house
The first time
I felt your heart beat
Next to mine
Twice
Fogging up the windows
On a December night
My tears on your shoulder
Your kiss on my forehead
The third time
So far from home
Wrapped in your jacket
Smelling you on my skin
As I fell asleep that night
Four
We were saying goodbye
Without saying anything
And two hours away
I was thinking your name
Five and six
You pulled me out of mom’s car
Took the keys
Awake in the spare room
All night long
Braiding my hair
Feeling my collarbones
On New Year’s Eve
You brought me home
From St. Anthony’s
Like nothing was wrong
I was still beautiful in your eyes
So you carried me upstairs
Tucked me in
Whispered love
And it was only eleven
Central time
Then the seventh time I got struck by lightning
My heart stopped beating
I stopped breathing
I said “yes”
Imagining the day I’d say
“I do”
And designing my new tattoo
You looked into my eyes
Took my hand
And said “I’m going to take care of you”
“you don’t have to worry ever again”
But now old fears come flooding back
Love washed away like debris
In the scenes from my dreams
I’m looking for lightning
And getting soaked
On my porch in North Carolina
Knowing I’ll dream of storms
Again tonight
Praying I’ll feel a little jolt
From the dark beside me
The voltage running through my skin
Is the same as yours
500 miles away
Asleep in Missouri