Words Studied For This Writing:
English: Zoup, please.
What it sounds like in German: Die Zoup bitte "Or" The Zoup? Bitter.
English: Uh, the night tea is great!
Pronounced in German sounds like: Eww. Is nachte. It's Gros "Or" Eww! Is nasty! It's gross!
Pronounced in German: Here.
English: Ha! I see an icky Sir's downin' Zoup.
German: Huh? - Ick- Taste. -Sie - An Icky herran down en Zoup
German: Ja "Or" yeah
English: Skinny rides here. Skinny? Hmm.. horseback.
German: Dunne fahrten hier, Dunne. Hmm? Holtzit back! Or.. Do not **** in here; do not! Hmm? Holds it back!
English: Oh! I beg!
German: Oh! Ich bitte "Or" Oh! It's better!
English: Come back, Father.....
German: Comeback, Vatter "Or" Come back, Fatter
German: Next in line.
Let's make a story with this .
-Enter Customer 2 in an American diner. She orders a
unique zebra-flavored soup called Zoup, created on American soil, but it's claimed to have had its origins in a restaurant located in Worms, Germany; as per usual proud fashion.
Customer 2 to Rude Waitress: "Zoup, please."
She sipped the complimentary drink placed before her as she awaited her order. Iced tea, ***** glass. It was reportedly their best tea, brewed by the Barista on the night-shift, whom did only speak in broken English and Spanish. Therefore, when the customer enjoyed her tea, she was glad it was nightfall and privy to the better drink and expressed her approval.
Customer 2 to Night-Shift Barista in simplified language:
"Uh, the night tea is great!"
The Barista nods politely.
Rude Waitress, apparently jealous because she makes the Day-shift tea, is curt to Customer 2:
"Here." she growled, slamming the Zoup on the table.
Things get quiet.
Just then, Customer 2 recognizes a crusty man who claims to have been knighted in a former life before joining a Native American tribe. She addresses him sardonically.
Customer 2 to Crusty Man
"Ha!" " I see an icky Sir's downin' Zoup!"
Crusty Man responds, unmoved:
Customer 2 cautioned him that he was being tracked by the infamous international assassin, Skinny.
Customer 2 to Crusty Man in mock Native American tongue:
"Skinny rides here ...
Crusty Man: "Skinny?"
Customer 2 (deepening voice)
She makes gestures with her hands of a man riding a horse.
And follows it up with mimicking a successful hit on Crusty Mans life, complete with tongue hanging out of mouth.
The rude waitress then pleads to a deceased priest aloud to return to save them whilst making holy gestures frantically.
Rude Waitress to a deceased Holy Man:
"Oh!" "I beg." "Come back, Father...
End First Act
This Final Act was created using the same exact words used in the English language, those in quotations that is, as were in the First Act: but then translating them into German, the conversation then became a bit more humorous. The Background was filled in to fit the context of the meaning of the words sonic qualities, as certain German words sound similar to English words, though they generally have different meanings. The German word sounds brought a whole new meaning to the English words spoken, and with this contrast I finished the Final Act. Since most do not know how to pronounce certain words and dialects of German language, I took the sounds created within the language and converted them to English words of phonetic similarity. These words were not translated back to English, as that would put the conversation exactly where it began -I rather made them easier to perceive.
Background Final Act/. Skinny from First Act is now in a diner in Worms, Germany, (pronounced like Vorms with a V.)
We begin with Skinny's response to being asked how is the Zoup by the German Waiter.
Skinny dryly to German Waiter: "The Zoup?" "Bitter."
He takes another spoonful into his mouth.
Skinny: "Ewww!" "Is nasty!" "It's gross!"
Skinny to German Waiter in disgust: "Here!"
And he pushes the bowl of Zoup into the waiters face.
German Waiter to Skinny expressing consternation
Skinny commands him: "Taste!"
The waiter does so reluctantly and winces in clear disgust.
"See?" " Icky heron down in Zoup!"
German Waiter to Skinny knowing German Zoup is flavored with heron, not zebra, and failing to see the point retorts
Skinny then crude and vengeful 'expresses' a good one from his basest dwelling silently; but deadly with a grin. It was a most foul smell.
The waiter is exasperated with this crudeness and makes commands of his own.
German Waiter to Skinny
"Do not **** in here!" 'Do not!"" Hmm?" "Holds it back!"
The odor horrid reached culmination with another waft of steam from Skinny and resulted in the excommunication of Skinny.
Skinny yet found himself vindicated and agreed to leave the establishment as was demanded. As he exits in self satisfaction, our waiter tells him not to forget his Zoup and the prideful waiter Stolz mocks him in jest by spooning a mouthful into his jabbering jowls, as he does, he turns pale and ill and silenced, reassuring Skinny he had a reason to be disappointed.
The German Waiter refusing to admit defeat tells him:
"Oh, it's better!" Referring to his bias to the Zoup from Worms, which should be renamed Houp, but the words don't translate that way.
THEN Stolz realized his best customer, Skinny's hefty brother, Fatter, was running out the door in an attempt to escape the stench which lingered and but grew in force, and the waiter pleaded with him to return.
German Waiter to Skinny's brother:
"Come back, Fatter!" but Fatter kept running and giggling sophomorically.
The German Waiter to a diner full of people gasping for fresh air and no desire for Zoup at this moment said in defeatist sheepishness, gulping before asking wishfully... pouting, whispering:
"Next in line?"