Most nights are spent wrestling heavy eyelids
Until exhaustion starts fighting to win.
Between sheets I begin to feel myself drifting
While REM sleep slowly starts settling in.
My sleeping mind never had a warm greeting
Always unwelcoming, unsettling, and dark;
And as always, I am met with the familiar feeling
Of the awareness of the speed of my heart.
Within the hellish depths of my subconscious,
I grip tight to my connection to reality
But even as I tighten my grip,
I feel myself slip
With ****** hands, I succumb to defeat.
And in the darkness I feel myself tremble
With my blood running cold through my veins
The line between hallucination and awake
Start to become impossible to differentiate
Come what may, I’ll be ready to fight my way out
Of this sleep cycle induced test of will
And until the sun starts to rise
I’ll shorten my breath and try to keep still.
For whatever hides around that dimly lit corner
Will not meet me with any remorse.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned,
It’s that the unacknowledged
Will find me and take me by force.
And despite the painfully relentless nights
There’s always a hidden silver lining;
I get to look forward to the rare occasions
When around the corner a light is shining,
All apprehension and nerves are gone
And wrapped in the warmth of safety,
Breathing will come easy
Until the horizon is painted with colors of dawn