My body is accustomed now to your absence
Fingers no longer reaching across rumpled blankets for warmth
That is no longer mine.
My mind is accustomed to your absence
Thoughts moving beyond the future we built
Finally freeing me to dare to dream where you are not
Daring me to build a life, grasp opportunities
Soley for my own souls fulfillment
no longer tied to yours
But still, my heart is not accustomed
I drift into the dream world, content
Only to find your face dancing through the interwoven tapestry of my subconscious self
I wake to find your laugh imprinted on the underside of my lids
And my heart betrays me with its subtle ache
Despite these nighttime relapses, I am releasing you slowly
Bit by bit my frozen fingers are pried off of memories too sweet to forget
Forced to drop expectations I built in your fading words
I am learning the anger that rides beside the sadness
Is only temporary blindness to the wisdom of love you brought me
The wild dance of freedom you injected in my veins
The otherworldly rush of adrenalin through my body
I am learning I have the right to be angry but also
that is is too powerful
an emotion to
waste on you
You who does not want any part of my erratic heart
This is the simple knowledge that is allowing me to shed this skin
you've left me drowning in
and to breathe free air
once again.