terrified, that you're gone already
when you're not here, my heart feels heavy
my mouth tastes acidic
without your stubborn kisses
curl my shoulders and clench my fist
oh how I hate this distance
it gets colder as you stay quiet
you didn't promise that you'd never lie
this feels uneasy and I don't know why

you hesitate...... making me question
everything that I want to believe in
I'm learning to trust, you're my test
to see if I'm better, to see my best
my fingers search for your hair to caress
I guess I just miss you
nothing more nothing less

Then again, I know this is much more
I'm scared I'll be alone again, fighting my war
I'm worried that if you left, I'd have nothing to fight for

I don't want to need you
I detest dependance
But without you beside me, nothing seems to make sense

I'm letting down my walls, but keeping my shell
before these few months, I was living in hell
I'm changing my ways for you, can't you tell?
I refuse to slip back into the place where I fell

I guess I just want to be worth your time
to be beautiful for you, so you stay mine

I'm a constant battle over this
I want to starve, live off of cigarettes and your kiss
on the other hand, I know where that will lead,
I need to keep fighting
I won't let you see me bleed.