the sun is rising through the cracks in the shutters
the sky is purple and yellow and blue
i'm so tired that i'm shivering
sweating
pain in my stomach, pain in my back
my forehead is against your shoulder and i wonder if you're asleep
i feel frustrated
why has the day begun so soon?
i close my eyes again and match my breath to yours
i wish you were awake too
i'm lonely


fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck there are so many ******* people in this ******* world and i can hear them outside and in my head and on the other side of this paper thin wall. so many ******* sounds and i wish they would all drown or i would drown or anything to make them stop. I am watching you sleep and I ******* hate you because you see and hear nothing. you're so far away and so beautiful. I miss you.so many of us consuming the rotting flesh of the planet every second of our lives feasting and gorging and yet none of us even exist and nothing is important and everybody dies anyways