goofball since i could first strike a one-liner
destined to be the fat, funny kid from the age of ten.

and that's great
i can float wherever i want
popular kids laugh just as hard as the weird ones
but try and tell people the terrible
unspeakable things that happened to you
and they laugh all the same
fine-tuned to only hear jokes leaving your garish mouth.

i have to turn **** and divorce and abandonment and growing up too fast and taking care of everyone when all i want to do is come home and sit on a nice couch with christmas lights while my mother makes christmas cookies and gives me robes and socks and hugs and perfume for no ******* reason

i want that so ******* bad
but all i can do
is make a joke about it
because that's all you want to hear from me
the fat, funny kid
who lives to make everyone smile
so i can
for a little while
but there are ugly, sad things inside of me
that rip through my quiet moments
when i'm not making a joke about **** -
a real story masked with comedic error -
the ugly parts
sit on my chest
and breathe into me
while you like my posts on facebook
and laugh at my silly snapchats.