Please lend a ear, my mind has began to deteriorate, I no longer can see clear. Hollering to whoever takes the time to notice me, faltering in the corner wondering what is wrong with me. I have some things I need to say, will you take the time to hear what I say? You know what never mind because it's too late for me; I no longer have a mind!

Sometimes I find myself voiceless, sometimes I find myself so hopeless, doubts in my head; man how do I even cope with all of this? The only one I can talk to are these walls, sitting all lonely eating some microwaved spaghetti and meatballs. Replaying the good times in my head to block out my present despair, always laying around near to a beer to numb all my feelings and tears. Staying away dreading the shock when that felling disappears, hoping and praying that I have enough money to make that feeling reappear. What I would do differently; what I would do to get out of my present captivity. Doubting my ability as I keep going back to living promiscuously.  Maybe I secretly believe that I deserve to sit in the rain, I know that it seems pretty crazy; indeed but even I notice that I always seem to divert back to the pain. Boxed in by all these walls, feels like imma bout to drop down Niagara Falls. No matter where I go addiction pursues me, guilt got me feeling like a ******, so caught up in all the affliction of what was once done to me.

Don't even like the person in the mirror, how can I be sincere when my heart has become so bitter? Friends and family dying, wanting this life to end so I won't be lonely on the sidelines who is also the only left crying and remembering. Drugs, drinking, old age or suicide is how it goes; don't even have enough money to afford a rose. So I’m left hugging the wall, such an empty embrace but there is nowhere for me to run to and now I find myself in withdrawal. Invisible wanting to just be loved unconditional, is there a way that my life can be fixable?