I wish I was your neighbor
I'd wait up for you at night
throw something on the barbie
have you over for a bite. 

I'd show up with a ladder
when your cat is up a tree 
meet you at the curb, say:
would you like a cup of tea?

I'd almost daily cut you flowers
and leave them on your stoop
holler at the dog who
on your lawn's about to ****.

I wish I was your neighbor
I'd have you over for a chat
ask about your hopes and dreams
and talk of this and that.

I’d come round with a tool kit
when your kitchen faucet leaks
and oil all your hinges
when the front door squeaks.

I’d invite you to a tavern
once I’d fixed your sink
maybe I could change my clothes
and we could share a drink?

I wish I was your neighbor
I know it sounds absurd
you wouldn’t even look at me
I’d be the next door nerd.

I’d shake hands with your boyfriend
when he arrives in his Corvette.
but I’d want to slash his tires
with a rusty bayonet.


And once I’d looked him in the eye
and wished him best of luck
I’d hope that on his way back home
he’d run into a truck.

I wish I was your neighbor
I’d write love songs for you
and sing them a cappella  
after I’ve had a few.

Perhaps I’d bring you chicken soup
if I sensed you feeling low
without your ever asking
I would give the lawn a mow.

I’d bring you fresh baked Danish
full of fruit and cheese
I’d learn to say good morning
in your native Portuguese.

I wish I was your neighbor
morning night and noon
I’d leave a porch light on for you
as constant as the moon.  

Come a Sunday morning
I might follow you to church
invite you to the IHOP
for theological research.

Stepping from your morning shower
you’d hear me grinding coffee grinds
and wonder understandably
does he watch me through the blinds?