Talking myself out of suicide
I don't  want to ride so do I get to die?
And I don't even want to try.
I feel like I'm burning alive by being alive.
I wanted to buy mom a house and a ride
5 kids a picket fence and a be a trophy wife.
I wanted to honeymoon in Dubai
I wanted to make my family millionaires
I wanted to be so beautiful I get blank stares
I wanted to give everyone everything.
But how can I give if I'm worth nothing.

I'm sorry I just can't live like this.
I've been suffering since 96'
Everyone thinks I'm a *****.
So if I leave it will make no difference.

I'm getting scars from hot showers.
I can't be sober for more than an hour.
I'm named after a flower
But don't bring me Jasmines.
Just burn and scatter me at the Eiffel Tower.

I don't know, if I do this will I burn in hell?
Either way I will get dressed and beat my face.
If I'm the Hollywood of Holy Hell.