i can't swim.
you supplied me with pool noodles
and innertubes
to where i could kick my legs
but now i'm drowning.

it's been 6 months.
6 ******* months.
and still
every time i see your welcoming embrace
i can feel my lungs fill with salt water
it burns
but i can't stop going back

i am constantly reaching for the unattainable.
i want there to be a time
when the drowning doesn't feel comfortable
but i still have yet to learn
how to hold myself up

i have never felt the weight
of forcibly forgetting the love
to drain the water in my lungs

as i sit behind this flask
i am drowning myself
but at this point
i can't find dry land