it does not matter how many times you tell me you love me
because that time when you wouldn't look me in the eyes is my most resounding memory
and no number of "you are beautiful"s
could ever undo the harm caused by my mother's spiteful eye
so instead i'll slip into another man's bed -
using their lust for me to fill my need to be wanted
and the distance of a one night stand
to avoid any further disappointment caused by my inevitable failure