I cannot do Maths,
I've tried and tried and tried,
But every time I get the answer wrong,
It just keeps wounding my pride.

I have an ulcer on my lip,
That is keeping me from comfort eating,
So when a sum doesn't add up,
I can feel confusion fleeting.

You frown at me in bewilderment,
"But what on earth do you mean?"
"This is the most simple sum that I have ever seen!"
Alright! You ignorant *****! I don't understand Maths!

And am not going to put up with that patronizing sort of crap!