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Dec 2016
I am trapped, deep within the walls of my own subconscious.
I mortared brick with dark thoughts and built an unconquerable wall of self-loathing.
I am free, but only for a fleeting moment.
I fall into the vastness of my own space-time-whatever-the-**** and I am lost.
I am trapped, deep within the walls of my own subconscious.
I laid brick made from all the happy thoughts of my past, and I mortared the wall with the reality that nothing will ever be that way again.
I am trapped in a room, with liquid matter rising, attempting to drown myself in all that actually matters.
I am trapped in a room braiding a noose from all the words that I said; I attach it at the beginning of time and I try to outrun myself.
My leash is too short and I stumble and fall, unable to escape my own dark thoughts. Unable to reach the light at the end of my metaphysical tunnel.
I am a coward unable to take my own meaningless life, because somewhere in my brain synopsis are firing, telling me that my life isn’t meaningless. That I need to live.
But why live when you can’t let anyone see inside of you.
I have built up these walls to prevent people from seeing my specious body. From hearing my voice and being lulled into a superficial sense of friendship.
I am trapped, deep within the walls of my subconscious.
I mortared brick with the thought that someone could love something like me.
Not quite human, and definitely not animal; just dangerous.
Dangerous because I cannot possibly fathom my unearthly potential.
Dangerous because love is the only beast which I fear.
I am trapped deep within the walls of my own subconscious,
I mortared brick with my most daring thoughts.
I am in love – I am a man.
I am a man and I have forgotten what I promised myself.
She tears down my walls.
And I start laying brick around the two of us.
We are trapped deep within the walls of my subconscious.
And we mortar brick with thoughts of our future.
Gabriel S Wensley
Written by
Gabriel S Wensley  New Hampshire
(New Hampshire)   
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