I can't believe what life for me has done
nor can i believe where life for me has gone
farewell old life i can still see it leaving
its so much back there that i miss so much
some things i can't completely let go of
somethings that i wish was still close enough to touch
this new life i speak on has so much in store
There's family, money, love, and so much more
Im about to get really personal cause i don't think you feel me
I'm speaking to you and the man above so that i can start my healing
well here it goes and its about to get deep
so pay attention real close to what i want you to see whats living inside of me
Im young black and handsome with a lot of potential
i wouldn't be where I'm at had i been more serious with those books, papers and pencils
No need for excuses just gotta keep it moving
no need to let anybody in or what you are thinking or what you are doing
be honest stay true
be loyal do you
i didn't maintain that
so now what do i do
i ****** up plenty times and still got a chance
******* i picked the wrong time to start trying to become a man
everything i got, i got it first not second hand
what made it worst is that the whole time i thought i was doing fine
i was still out of my mind still not walking in a straight line
you want me to be real,, i though about grabbing that steel ending the whole deal
if you don't know what I'm talking about I'm talking about suicide
i was  put in a position where they make you decided
they as in the good and the bad
they as in the happy and the sad
they as in my momma and my dad
i was torn between the two
stuck between what i thought i wanted vs what i needed
at thirteen what you expect me to do
moms let me do whatever, pops kept a ***** straight
i don't know how many others out there can relate
just keep in mind this is only phase 1
there are two more phases before I'm even close to being done, just read it