I
I can't
I can't fathom
I can't fathom these words

What
What are
What are these words even worth?

Stuck in this Delma of working a lifetime
I hope that I can make room for my right mind
Let's hope negative energy doesn't consume my lifeline

I'm working retail, the details are irrelevant

Let's just say I cut ham and cheese
Just for the hell of it

I refuse to take benefits, these words are my pills, no my medicine

I'm my own doctor I make appointments when I write

I'm not saying my physical health is in distress, I'm all right

But **** this mental stress is like a sharp knife

It cuts through cartilage, likes bad words in arguments, I wish I could stay anonymous

Bad feelings synonymous to my current state mind, I wish I could take this weight then subtract an divide

Mathematics isn't a strong skill of mine
But if I don't quit, I know a fraction of me will die

I don't mind working the 9 to 5, I just feel a portion of that time can be dedicated to rhymes, letters caged in my mind, will be released if rising

Rise to the occasion, time is of the essence, that essence is a fragrance of confidence in the air
I use to be scared

I would just disappear into the darkness of fear, where positives never stirred only negative reappeared in the form of sedatives, intoxicated women & alcoholic beverages    

Lustful nights, my sinful sight looked forward to friends with benefits

I would **** for the hell of it,
love & friendship two words I thought I would never get

But never again will I let my self-esteem drop, nor be a part of what seems hot, fakes friends a faction that seemed lost

Utterly so was I, claiming that I was a high, a hypocrite among hypocrites simply living lie

My synonyms where of sentences simply dressed in disguise, what Am I doing what is my purpose life?

I now live for the moments, passions and possibilities, forever an optimist
Living my life in positivity