i've rationalized every rational explanation
told myself every side to every story i didn't want to hear
you see i've made myself immune
i've conditioned myself to the human condition
madness is a malevolent concept
but if you embrace it, it holds no ill power
this sickness i stole with ***** fingertips
this sickness is me
it rocks my world
but don't ever love a sick child
a sick child like me
its an empty love, like a ghost
someone who's hardly there
in the head
hanging on by a thinning thread
while pretending they have it all together
it's the human condition
the lies that drip from the roof of your mouth and form pools of saliva at the tip of your tongue
and im
looking for a sour truth to digest
something to wake up my senses
from this self preservation indoctrination
accepting the truth as fleeting as it may be
this sickness it controls me
has the wheel, it throws me
it's a certain uncertainty
a
deathtrap
an endless maze inside a maze
im a rotting cage
and i play sick games with myself
i like the feeling of not feeling a little too much
lifes a tetter totter
and your
getting thrown back and forth into extremes
and you are not a silly coping mechanism
you are not a doctors hand sanitizer hand outstretched with a pill
you are something malleable
you are something i could destroy
but i don't want to break you down into nothing
you see that isn't my intention here
please believe me
ive just hurt myself so much
im unsure ill be able to tell the difference.