I walk down streets,
wondering why I cannot feel anything.
My sister informed me that this is an uncommon form of depression,
I remember months ago when I felt everything so deeply I could barely speak.
I want that back,
I want to feel the unstoppable sadness and pain.
I want to feel the tears sliding down my face.
I want to feel the rare hour long rushes of joy, only to have the sadness take me over again not even an hour later.
I want to feel these things because I need something.
Not feeling anything eats you alive from the inside out.
Its like floating in the ocean but not feeling the water and sunshine.
It's like reading an amazing book but never meeting the characters.
It is pain.
It is my life.