when u left my world went grey
and i disappeared into the soil hoping to find u there
bc you were my world
still are.
i want to get over it.
i break my mental breakdowns into parts each week.
I’m on part 6 right now,
soon to be on part seven.
i drink more coffee now.
you drink tea.
my friends can tell when I am upset now
i frown and make my hurt visible
i do not speak
but sometimes it all comes out
part 7
and I am crying in the closet of my photography class
i tell them how i wish I was walking on the side of the highway
and how the ground seems more soft
than I could ever be
more warm than I could ever feel
they don't understand.
i wish they would.
they just nod and gently pat my back,
knowing if they did any harder, it would break.
you are soft
they whisper
you are soft
they touch my hot flushed cheeks
you feel warm
you feel warm
wipe my eyes,
makeup smears
don't wipe it off.
show them I'm weak.
wear your heart on your ******* sleeve
Let them know you are weak
Show them you're more than that
PART 8.
i texted you everything I felt
regretted in the morning but didn't at the same time.
Felt weak, knew I wasn't.
but that never stops the feeling
PART 9.
carved your name on my bed frame
along with all the reasons
because my friends say I'll never get over you
like it's a bad thing
but they don't know I can learn to live without you.
PART 10
know you may never come find me
but for everything a reason
for everything a reason