sometimes i wish 

you were still the bitter taste 

left on my tongue 

instead of bleeding lips

and swallowed sweet nothings


sometimes i think

you’re the tar in my lungs 

and for a second when i can’t breath

i remember how it feels
to look at 
the icy rivers
and black hole iris 
of your being

sometimes i wish

i knew how your hands felt
around my neck

but i think i thought i felt them there

since the night you left 
me choking
on lies 
that spewed with warm *****

and blaming tears on the stormy weather

sometimes i think

you think all the same 

or maybe i just wish too much 

pleasure and pain go hand in hand 

but to me 
with you

its just the same