"if something happens.."
been said so many times
its embedded into my mind effortlessly

im fearing im panicking
i dont want to be thinking about it
i cant seem to stop

i fear when you walk out on me
i fear the day "if whatever happens..."
happens
i fear missing you
not breathing with you

i wonder how you are doing
what do you eat when you're not with me
what's been going on in your mind
what have you surrounded yourself with

how did your day go

what makes the side of your lip curl a little
what made your heart jump
what confuses you
what make you feel like burying your head in the pillows