You had me at hello.
I noticed you when I walked into the classroom.
I threw my books on the table and reached into my bag for my bag of chips.
You stared at me while I was eating. You stared at me when I was reading. You stared at me when I was learning.

I kept watching you stare at me as I crack a shy smile. I wanted you but I didn't want myself.
I hated to be there. I hated to come to class. I hated to get dress and put on that **** dress that you love watching me wear.
I hated doing my hair and face. I hated waking up. I hated myself that I felt that I didn't exist anymore. That morning you stared at me not knowing that I awoke in the tub with my wrist slashed. While in class, staring at that **** black dress that I was wearing, didn't know that I had my stomach pumped a week ago because of consuming a dangerous amount of pain reliever pills.
But you stared.

When class was over, I quickly gather my things to put back into my sack to head out of the classroom.
I just wanted to be home, away from society.

While walking out, that dreamy face walk towards me and said "Hello, do you need help with your bags'? I looked at you with total confusion because my bags wasn't heavy until he mentioned help with bags.  I silently laugh but cracked another shy smile, stating that's very sweet of you and yes.

When you grabbed my bag, your shaky hands spilled my bag drooping my pills and blade. You didn't said anything in references to the pills and blade but only stated, 'you are an amazing woman and I would love to get to know potentially marrying you.'

I bust out laughing hysterically thinking you were only running game not knowing that you help me overcome my fear of survival. God use you to save me with that statement because today, our love is strongest love on this earth. You help me beat this sickness because you accepted my sickness as only a rough moment in life.


I love you.