The pain of not knowing
this gnawing feeling
cramps in my sides
squeezing my blood dry
this bed is always too hot
or too cold
wake up freezing or sweating,
always thinking of you

spirals downward
into the hopelessness district
where souls crawl, missing
their other half
leaves fall, trees naked and bare
crawling to the sky like vericose veins
         and I
                       won't
                                      call


because knowing would be worse
knowing that you are gone

and never
             ever
                    coming back to me