Letting go was never easy

Yet there was never really much space
For a different outcome
This was the end of a chapter
And despite the fact
That my heart knew it was over
That did not refrain it from breaking

Losing a first love
That will never easy.
Saying goodbye to something you were not ready to say goodbye to
Will always be imprinted on the back of my mind.
And although it has been months since
I lay here and feel like the band aid is being ripped once again
Just like that night I knew it was time to turn in the gloves
To let go of what was always a constant
To realize that I needed to grow, and holding on was not going to allow me
And that hurt like hell
It still hurts like hell

So most will say
What a petty thing to feel so much for
But none of those words matter
I was in love
And seeing others be in love
Truly makes me happy
But signals a pang of jealousy
Jealousy of never being in that kind of love any longer

Of course, I can love again
But how can I
When I know just how much it takes
The time
The effort
The tears
The sacrifice
I gave all those things
And look where it got me
Yet here I am
Looking to love again
Even if I cannot.

So if love arrives in your life
I want you to take care of it
Hold onto it like today will be the last day
The last day you'll feel the grass
The last day you'll fell the intensity
Because tomorrow
You might just have to say
" I cannot do this any longer"