I've spent my whole life with WIPE YOUR FEET written on my forehead in thick waterproof ink but I never really notice because I tend to avoid mirrors
And people always seem so happy when you let them leave marks on your skin so it's easy to forget it's wrong
To forget that I am not made to kiss the feet of those who step on my mouth and silence me
If I look in the mirror I feel used and unclean so I don't
The realization that you are not human is heavy and unpleasant, it leaves you nauseous and restless but people seem so happy when you let them leave marks on your skin so trying to reclaim your being is selfish, right?
Often times when I am suicidal it's because I feel I have nothing to give to the world, I'm not important or valuable but of course I'm not valuable, I'm dinged up and ***** from a lifetime of use
Maybe then it's my purpose to be used
Or maybe there's no purpose at all
Because maybe I am not a tool
So how ****** up is it that I feel I should die if I'm not able to be used?
I'm sick to the stomach as I try to scrub the label off my forehead or at least the dirt from my skin
And feel selfish for looking in the mirror